Strange noises in the wall

After returning from our trip and eating some food we tried to settle in for the night. As I said before "This is China!" and nothing is ever that simple. While playing on my computer I heard loud banging coming from Michelle's room and a few moments later I heard Michelle coming down the hall saying "there is something screaming and moving in my wall". Sure enough there was something moving in her wall. We could hear it, making little screeching noises and moving in front of a small hole in the wall. We watched and listened for a moment trying to figure out what it was. Michelle is afraid of rats and I am afraid of spiders so we compliment each other in that we can kill each others fears.

Michelle was sure it was a rat and I wasn't questioning that until I say whatever it was poke out of the hole. I didn't get a good look but from what I saw I believed it to be a very large spider. It looked like a leg popped out of the hole. At this point we both fled the room, closed the door, and stuffed a towel under the door. I was going to have no part in dealing with a giant spider in the wall. I was scared shit-less.

We attempted to call our FAO, it was only 11:00, but he did not answer. We decided to go down to the security guard by the gate and try to explain what was going on. This of course had no effect because we don't speak Chinese and he laughed at us.

We walked back into the apartment and called Cobra, the only other person we know who speaks Chinese, and walked back down to the security gate. This time we found a different, and much nicer, security guard who talked to Cobra and understood the situation. He walked back to our apartment with us to check it out.

As usual, now that he had come all the way up the noise in the wall had stopped and nothing was moving. So typical! We found some packing tape and the security guard was nice enough to cover the holes with it. Regardless of this Michelle slept in my room that night.

The next morning "the weasel" called. "You called 8 times last night" he said. Yeah asshole we did, maybe if your drunk ass hadn't been passed out you would have picked up. Of course we were much nicer than that but I'm pretty sure Michelle want to reach through the phone and strangle him. He came over to see the holes in the wall and said someone would come by to patch them up.

Fast forward 6 hours, no one has come and we call "the weasel" again. "Oh no workmen are here so I will come and patch the wall". Okay fine, as long as it gets done tonight or we were going to leave.

He comes over with two girl students and a bag of mixed cement, which he proceeds to drip all over our floor. Then he has the two girls patch up the wall while he stands and watches. These girls can bearly speak English and now they are patching up walls. Worst patch job ever, they made a mess. Totally jerry-rigged operation. I am so happy that I grew up with my dad who has taught me how to do jobs like this.

So they finish the patch job and as they are leaving "the weasel" has the balls to tell us that we should probably wipe up the floor. I wanted to jump down his throat so badly. But Michelle and I kept our mouths shut and just cleaned up the mess. 3 hours later the noises started again but there was no way what was in the wall was coming out. Michelle got to sleep in her room and all was well again.

The following morning, Michelle heard something hitting the window outside her room. She investigated and found a bird in the apartment trying to fly out a closed window. She opened the windows but the bird wouldn't fly out. Instead it flew toward the ceiling and into a vent and disappeared. We can only assume that there is a family of birds living in Michelle's wall and that was what was making all the noise and poked out of the hole. There is no way we are going to get those birds out. All I can do is shake my head and remember "This is China!"